What’s a Smoovie?
April 15, 2015
So we're at it again. Long, daddy-daughter shenanigans.
Me: Daddy, I'll be at your house no later than 9:30 am.
Him: Ok I'll be ready.
Me: [Outside] Come on Daddy, I'm here. Let's roll.
Him: Ok let me dry off, and put on some lotion, and clothes, and brush my teeth again, and comb my hair [before I smash it with a baseball cap].
Me: Daddy!
Him: [CLICK]
[While riding]
Him: I like that Volvo better than yours.
Me: 😏 That's an XC60. It's really nice, just smaller.
Him: [Muffled] What's this, a 6 cy...?
Me: Pardon?
Him: You don't know what's under your hood?! Baby girl you know better than that [shaking his head].
Me: I know what I'm driving. I couldn't understand you.
Him: Well answer it.
Me: Yes [rolling my eyes]!
Me: Are you hungry?
Him: Yes, I didn't have time to eat with you rushing me.
Me: Daddy, you rise at the crack of dawn. I'm sure you had time to eat.
Him: It was either eat or read my devotional. You already know what I chose.
Me: Don't we all.
Him: I could use one of those things we had with Fayola that time.
Me: What was that?
Him: I don't know. A malt.
Me: A malt? What's a malt? Malt-o-meal?
Him: Hell nawl! You drink it!
Me: Ooohhh, a smoothie.
Him: What's a smoovie?
Me: A 21st Century malt. [laughing out loud]
Him: Where is Fayola anyway? Why didn't she come with you?
Me: She's in school, Daddy.
Him: Y'all spend a lot of time in school.
Him: I could really use a new pair of black dress shoes cause I have to put my other ones in the shop again. [code for buy me some shoes today]
Me: 😏 How much do they cost, Daddy?
Him: $80-100.
Me: Ok. What shoe shop do you use?
Him: The one in 5th Ward.
Me: There's a great, black owned shoe shop in 3rd Ward.
Him: So is this one. What you think, you the only one go to black businesses since you one of them Black Panthers now? Hell we been doing that! Y’all grew up in Channelview, but y’all saw me and ya Mama travel to black businesses. We didn't believe in dumping all our money wit white folk.
Me: 😳
Him: Where we going now? I don't recognize this part of town.
Me: To get your shoes Daddy.
Him: Really?
Me: 😏 Daddy stop playing games.
Him: I want some Wing Tips.
Me: What's that?
Him: [showing me in the store]
Me: Oh! We call those Oxfords.
Him: Y'all don't know nothing!
Him: I haven't heard from ya brother. I guess he's studying for finals.
Me: Daddy, Jamaal is done with finals. All he has to do now is research and write, research and write.
Him: Write what?
Me: His dissertation, then defend it.
Him: His what?
Me: His book.
Him: You mean they make him write a book? What if he doesn't want to? Why does it have to be written? Can't he just speak about what he knows?
Me: Not exactly, Daddy.
Him: [shakes head]
So, all in all, I hipped my daddy to smoothies, if ya gonna drive it you better know what's under ya hood, buying black ain't nothing new, and my addy would prefer my brother be a griot instead of a PhD Black Geographer.
Touché. Ain't nothing new under the moon.